


Challengers

by SaturnianDreamer



Series: To Love A Challenge [1]
Category: Space Cases (TV)
Genre: Banter, Challenges, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Major Character Injury, Male-Female Friendship, Missing Scene, Past Relationship(s), Protectiveness, Requited Love, Revelations, Romantic Friendship, Self Confidence Issues, Sexual Tension, So Married, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaturnianDreamer/pseuds/SaturnianDreamer
Summary: A few "missing scenes" from throughout the series exploring the relationship between Davenport and Goddard. They like to push each other's buttons and never back down from a challenge.





	1. Good Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wonder how Commander Goddard convinced Miss Davenport to first set foot on The Christa? Yeah, me too. Here's a possibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during "We Gotta Get Out of This Place." Copied from my old LJ and spruced up a bit. I don't own Space Cases.

**Challengers: Good Reasons**

Davenport found herself banging on the door to Commander Goddard's quarters. Other faculty members peered into the hallway to stare, but she didn't pay them much mind. She would not be the subject of ridicule in this scenario, so she had no reason to be embarrassed.

The Commander finally answered after five minutes, still in his pajamas, bleary-eyed, with a comical case of bedhead. He knew Davenport would come looking for him, but he hoped she would give up after the first minute of incessant knocking. Yet there she stood with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

"Late night?" she wondered.

Her voice was even more grating than usual. Goddard squinted as the harsh light from the hall assaulted his eyes. "Can't you let me sleep off a hangover in peace?" he grumbled.

"No, I most certainly cannot," was her answer. "It is 1200 hours, and you are supposed to be teaching a class. Now hop to it. I will wait outside this door until you emerge in full uniform, ready to start the day."

Goddard groaned as he jabbed at the control panel and the door shut in Davenport's face. He lazily dressed himself, combed his hair, and brushed his teeth. Ten minutes later, he peered out of the safe haven of his room to find her still standing there, tapping her foot impatiently. She glared at him as they walked the halls in silence. As they approached the classroom, Goddard finally spoke up in an attempt to justify his actions.

"These kids are going to flunk out anyway," he rationalized. "I really don't see any point in trying to teach them."

"They should be given a fair chance to redeem themselves," Davenport countered. "If they screw up again, that is their prerogative. But I will not allow them to fail because of someone else's recklessness."

Goddard shook his head as he opened the classroom doors, unsure whether they were still discussing the "space cases" or his own predicament with the law. "Trying to teach them anything is tough enough, Miss Davenport. And now you expect me to babysit them during their…" Goddard trailed off as he looked around the empty room.

Davenport sighed. It was typical for the students to run off the moment they were left without supervision. Certainly it had happened before, and she had grown accustomed to retrieving them every single time without the principal getting wind of Goddard's negligence.

She watched the Commander walk further into the deserted room and glance out the window. Panic washed over his face as he hurried back out the door, his hangover suddenly forgotten. T.J.'s heart leapt into her throat when she, too, caught a glimpse of the strange alien vessel connected to the school. She glanced back and forth between the Commander and the window as she followed Goddard down the hall.

"What are you doing?" she called as she ran after him. "We should alert the principal immediately, send security to investigate the ship, and put the school on lockdown. There are rules and procedures for this sort of thing!"

Goddard stopped suddenly and whirled around, causing Davenport to skid into him. She jumped back with a small surprised yelp and smoothed down her uniform as her face flushed. "Don't do that!" she yelled at him in exasperation.

Goddard rolled his eyes. "Don't do this. Don't do that," he mocked her. "Look, by the time we get to the principal and alert Starcademy security, those kids might be dead. We don't know why the ship flew so close to the school, and we don't know who or what might be onboard."

"That is exactly why we _should_ alert security and leave this matter to the professionals," Davenport countered. "I have no intention of being slaughtered by an unknown, hostile alien race today. For once, just once, I wish you would listen to me."

Goddard just shook his head. "I still don't understand why you care so much about trying to reform me, T.J. You're wasting your time. And now you're wasting mine."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You have two choices: you can either back me up, or you can run to the principal and tattle on me. Which is it gonna be?"

The Commander knew how to push her buttons, and it frustrated Davenport to no end. She glanced over her shoulder—in the direction of the administrative offices—before turning back to Goddard and gathering as much courage as she could muster. "Shall we?" She tried to march ahead of him, but he held her back.

"I'll go in first," he ordered. "Watch my six."

She followed him into the spaceway, looking over her shoulder every few seconds. "I had to watch the students because you failed to show up for class today," she continued in a forced whisper. "It was only after I left to find you that the kids ran off. And I'll have you know that I was scheduled to be in an administrative meeting all morning, but because of your shenanigans, I could not even find the time to make an appearance! It was because I was trying to save your sorry arse _again_ that we're in this fix! Do you really hate teaching so much that you would sabotage your job and risk jail time as an alternative punishment?"

Goddard stopped as he crossed over the threshold of the airlock, and so did Davenport's diatribe. The inside of the alien vessel was unlike anything they had ever seen before. Veiny violet walls seemed to pulse with life as they forked in three different directions. Davenport's jaw went slack as she took in the sight before her. She had never set foot on a ship like this one. She sorted through her mental databank of alien technology but couldn't seem to match this particular ship's design to any she had studied.

Goddard picked a direction at random, and Davenport followed, not wanting to get left behind. A feeling of foreboding overtook her, but instead of allowing the Commander to see how frightened she really was, she took the opportunity to continue berating him.

"The headmistress will be furious with me," she complained. "I am going to get fired, I just know it! You too, for not watching the students. Yes, you will be going to jail for sure. Oh, this is all your fault!"

Goddard rolled his eyes. "They sneak off the Starcademy, onto this ship, and it's my fault?"

"You should have been watching them!" Davenport countered. "If someone were to call himself a teacher…"

"No!" he barked. "What I call myself is a former starship captain busted in rank for no good reason and reassigned as a fleet instructor."

Davenport huffed and folded her arms across her chest. "No good reason? That's not what I hear."

"Well whatever you heard, you heard wrong!" Goddard fired back.

They turned away from each other, leaning on opposite walls. As soon as they made contact with the ship, a cacophony or haunting notes filled the hall, as if the corridors were screaming at them. Davenport screamed too, and she stumbled back into Goddard before letting out another terrified shriek. When she realized the two of them were the only ones in the hallway, she let out a sigh of relief, albeit a shaky one. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Goddard was relaxing out of a fighting stance.

"Were you going to punch me?" she wondered.

"I still might," Goddard muttered through clenched teeth.

"All right, that's it! I've had enough!" Davenport exploded. "I have had about enough of your attitude! I have done nothing but stick my neck out for you, and how do you repay me? By trying to order me around and make me feel inferior. Believe me, I am counting the days until you have paid your debt to society and are no longer my responsibility."

"I've been keeping track too," Goddard told her. "Twenty-one more days, and I will be more than happy to leave you, the students, and the Starcademy without ever looking back!"

His words were like a slap in the face, and Davenport felt sick to her stomach as she finally realized how intensely he hated her. But why did it bother her so much? She couldn't stand him either. And now, it seemed, she couldn't even stand the sight of him because she found herself looking away.

"But maybe you're right about one thing," he conceded. "Maybe this is my fault. And maybe I'd like the chance to fix my mistake."

Davenport scoffed in reply.

"Not that I care about redeeming myself," Goddard quickly clarified. "I just can't stand the thought of something horrible happening to those kids because of me. So feel free to go to the principal. Hide behind your rulebook if you want, but I'm going to stay here until I find the students."

The Commander was giving her a way out. His was a tempting offer, but Davenport didn't know that she wanted to take it. At that moment, more than anything, she wanted to prove—not to him, of course, but to herself—that she wasn't afraid to step out of her comfort zone.

"Come along now," T.J. ordered, holding her head high. "Not that I care about redeeming myself," she added pointedly.

Davenport started to venture further into the ship, but Goddard grabbed her by the arm in an effort to stop her. She jerked away from him and forged ahead, leaving him thoroughly confused and more than a little worried about her state of mind.

The Commander followed after her, bewildered. God forbid she got herself killed while trying to prove a point—or worse, _in order_ to prove a point. T.J. Davenport was the only woman who ever tried to change him for his own good, to challenge him to be a better person. In fact, she was the only woman brave enough to challenge him at anything (and lately, it seemed, everything).

 _Maybe I've finally met my match_ , Goddard mused, allowing a smirk to tug at the corner of his mouth. _Who'd have thought?_ After all, Commander Seth Goddard was never one to pass up a challenge.


	2. Great Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After crash-landing on Kareesh 9, T.J. finds Seth sulking and decides to go for the jugular.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because banter for these two comes so easily to me. In my mind, this takes after "New Places, New Faces" (the next morning). This was originally only going to be a one-shot, but I added another chapter yearrrrrs after the original was written. I was inspired by InvisibleNinjaPirate's "Conversations" fic. Go read it!

**Challengers: Great Expectations**

T.J. entered the Command Post to find a dazed Seth leaning heavily against the inoperable helm controls. He always wandered over to the helm when he felt powerless, she noticed. The Christa would never allow him to steer, certainly not now when they were stranded on an unknown planet. But even back when the ship was spaceworthy, T.J. would often find Seth standing in the same spot as he hoped and waited for the Christa to grant him the control he so desperately craved: control of the ship, control of the crew, control of his life.

"Late night?" T.J. wondered. When he didn't answer, she took slow steps until she found herself standing at his side. "You have been awfully quiet since we landed," she observed. Or perhaps, she feared, he was simply avoiding her.

Goddard hung his head. "Please leave."

She blinked back her surprise and rested her hand over his, only to have him jerk away.

"Damn it, Davenport! I said go away!" he barked.

She recoiled, unused to being addressed with such hostility or by her surname alone. Even when they argued, Seth always spoke evenly and with authority, referring to her as "Miss Davenport" or "T.J." But she recovered quickly and composed herself, folding her arms across her chest and holding her head high. "I am not leaving," she declared, resolutely.

Goddard's fists clenched and unclenched. "Can't you follow an order?" He slammed his hand down on the damaged console. "Can't anyone around here follow a simple goddamn order?"

T.J. hoped she appeared confident when she responded, "Not when the individuals in question are concerned about the wellbeing of a fellow crewmember."

"Your point being?"

"This is most unlike you, Commander."

"Don't call me that."

"Pardon?"

"By all rights, I should be a captain. But I don't even deserve to be a commander anymore. I don't command anything: I don't command attention, respect, or the damn ship. I can't even get a bunch of teenagers to listen to me. What the hell does that make me?"

Davenport took a deep breath. "A coward." She braced herself for his reaction. Instead of lashing out this time, Goddard was rendered speechless. T.J. used his stunned silence as an opportunity to continue, "No one will listen to you, so you stand here feeling sorry for yourself? You think the students listen to me half the time? No. Do I lose sleep over it? No. You are a coward: one who was targeted by his superiors and didn't even put up a fight."

Now she had his full attention. "I resent that. I may be many things, Miss Davenport, but I am definitely not a coward."

"Well then I suggest you stop feeling sorry for yourself and go back to doing one of the many things you love," T.J. suggested, easily.

"Such as?"

"Proving me wrong."

He narrowed his eyes. "Is that a challenge?"

She shrugged. "Or an invitation."

"It's not as much fun when it's welcome."

But T.J. knew how to push his buttons. "I understand if you can't live up to the high expectations I have for you: to be the noble leader you once were. To be—"

"T.J., I'm not—"

"—the STARDOG my father and I admired. The one who bravely commanded troops in battle and excelled at nearly all he attempted. Or aren't the stakes high enough? Was your reputation merely an unintended consequence of idiotic thrill-seeking?"

Goddard could only gawp at her audacity.

T.J. persisted, "The way I see it, the lives of children are at stake now. If that isn't enough incentive for you to muster up some courage, then I don't know what is."

"That's the problem. The stakes are too high," Seth confessed as his angry scowl softened into a despondent frown. "That's why I didn't get any sleep last night and why I've been standing here agonizing over everything. One wrong move and we could lose someone. I've lost crewmates before, T.J. It's hell; there's no other word for it. But I don't think I could survive losing one of this crew: our crew, our family. I would never, ever be able to forgive myself. If Catalina had died..."

T.J. hung her head and tried not to think back to less than twenty-four hours before when she believed the young Saturnian had lost her life. She also expressly avoided any thoughts that had raced through her mind earlier of what could have been: if Seth had ventured back to the Christa's sister ship for Catalina, Harlan, and Elmira with only seconds until detonation...or if she hadn't been able to warn him of the imminent explosion...or if he hadn't found the Lumanian ship's log in the first place...

Suddenly, Seth's anger returned. "Look, I'm sorry I don't parade around like the carefree hero you want me to be. But if you'd known me back when I was serving in the STARDOGS, I don't think you would've liked me. I've battled my share of demons despite whatever 'golden boy' status you and your father gave me, but I would definitely think twice before you call me a coward. Don't you think it's a bit hypocritical for you to judge someone by their bravery?"

T.J. shook her head ruefully. "I wasn't meant for this. I am willing to admit that. I know my limitations. All my life, I've studied space from behind the safety of books and computer screens. But you, Seth, you are more than prepared to deal with whatever challenges the universe has in store for us."

"You are, too," he insisted, his tone dropping from hostile to insistent. "You just need to maintain your composure so you can use your knowledge to the crew's benefit instead of watching from the sidelines. Your only limitations are the ones you're creating for yourself. Look, I know you're scared. There's nothing wrong with that. Right now, I'm damn scared, and you're doing a better job of the false bravado thing than me. So if verbally eviscerating me is what it takes to get you to step up, that's fine. I'll deal with it."

T.J. blushed. "Assuming I'm as strong as you think me to be, you will be 'dealing with it' for the next six years or so."

"If that's the challenge, I accept the terms."

T.J. smiled kindly at him. "Feel better?"

Seth took a second to reflect and then decided, "A bit, yeah."

He wondered why that was. What was it about Davenport that confused him so much? She put him both on edge and at ease. Why did he feel the need to wind her up one moment and impress her the next? And more importantly, why did he want to be the noble leader she once admired? Why did he care? Out of anyone who'd ever pushed him to do anything, what was it about this infuriating woman that made him want to change—not just to prove his worth, but to become a better man?

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he offered, still contemplating their dynamic.

"And I am sorry for provoking you," she responded.

"No, it's okay. It was," he struggled to find the right words and settled on, "good motivation. I might not have met your expectations before, and I might not meet them now, but you make me want to try. And that's...something."

"Well, I um," T.J. faltered, "I suppose you may not need so much pressure. I was being a bit dramatic, after all. You're doing just fine."

"Just fine, huh? High praise, indeed," he teased.

"It is," she insisted. "I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else. I am sorry for giving you a difficult time, but I only do it because I know how capable you really are."

"Please never apologize for pushing me to be better, T.J. Thank you for not giving up on me. I keep thinking it would be easier for you if you had. You wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just decided to walk away."

T.J. frowned. "I don't know about that. I mean... perhaps it seems that way, but—"

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be safe and sound back at the Starcademy. You'd probably even be promoted to Headmistress by now." Seth realized he'd caused more trouble for her than he'd accounted for. He scrubbed his hands down his face and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, T.J. I feel like I'm responsible for ruining your life."

Her heart sank. "Is that really what you think? I chose to follow you aboard the Christa. That was my decision."

"But if I had been watching the kids in the first place—"

"Don't you dare, Seth Goddard! I will not have you go down this road. I simply cannot allow you to blame yourself for the situation we are in. None of this is your fault."

"That's news to me," he retorted before he could stop himself.

T.J.'s spirit deflated as the realization dawned: she had under no uncertain terms blamed him for their predicament as soon as they had set foot on the Christa. "You took what I said to heart, didn't you? All this time, you truly believed you were responsible for our fate, and that whatever happened while we were on this ship was down to you and you alone."

He said nothing. He didn't want her pity.

Her voice was gentle when she said, "I know what I've said in the past, and some of those things were quite horrible. In my frustration, I may have even meant them at the time. But not now. I wouldn't even dare think them now."

Seth rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better."

"Is it really so hard to believe that I enjoy being out here learning and experiencing new things? True, it is scary sometimes. There are risks, certainly. But risking the safety of something familiar can lead to amazing opportunities. It isn't easy, of course. But nothing worthwhile ever is."

She witnessed the flicker of something akin to hope in Seth's eyes; it was there so briefly she thought she'd imagined it. "You really don't blame me?" he asked.

"Not at all. Knowing you'll be there to catch me if I fall—both literally and figuratively—is rather comforting." She bit her lip. "I confess, it is what helps me make it through some of our most challenging undertakings. And I suppose I should thank you for pushing me, too. For helping me be stronger than I ever thought possible."

Seth studied her face and realized the truth in her declaration. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and smiled. "I think becoming an adventurer is starting to agree with you, T.J."

"I wouldn't go that far. I'm indeed making an effort. But I still have a lot of learning and growing to do. That's why I'm glad you are here."

"You're this ship's voice of reason, and you're learning to take calculated risks. I'm proud of you. Striking a balance between caution and courage is difficult, but it's one of the most valuable skills to have out here. You're well on your way."

"I suppose."

"You are." Seth gave her a playful nudge. "I mean, who knows what stupid idea you'll need to talk me out of next?"

She blushed and gently swatted his shoulder. "Oh, honestly."

"I can always count on you to talk some sense into me, T.J. I don't think I'd want to do this with anyone else either. We make a pretty good team. It's an honor to serve with you."

"Likewise. An honor and a pleasure."

He made room for her on the platform, and T.J. stepped up to stand next to him. "Screen on," they said simultaneously.

It was dawn now, and the shadows and fog from the night before had dissipated. The daytime scenery was quite stunning, with the morning light glittering on the lavender ocean as the waves crashed and shimmered on the beach below.

T.J. nestled into Seth's side and rested her head on his shoulder. She allowed for him to wrap his arm around her waist as they stood in an amicable silence. Until...

"Hey, Teej?"

"Seth, do shut up. You're spoiling the moment."

He chuckled into her hair as he rested his chin atop her head. "Yes, Ma'am."


	3. Hope For the Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After facing Reaver, T.J. and Seth have a fireside chat.

After ending communication with Admiral Cody and Bova’s father, everyone retreated back into the safe haven of The Christa... except Commander Goddard. Davenport found him outside, setting up a tent and extending their power fence around an old-fashioned campfire he had prepared.

"I know what you're thinking, T.J. Yes, it's going to be a late night."                      

“Wouldn’t you prefer to relax inside the ship?” she inquired.

Goddard shrugged. “I figured I’d spend the night out here. Rough it a little bit, just for fun.”

"And test some of the camping supplies in our survival kits before you leave for your expedition?" The crew had already encountered cyclops aliens, Spung, strangling vines, and old rivals on that strange planet. But who knew what other dangers lurked in the jungle? Davenport shuddered at the thought and expressed her concern, “I know I would feel better retiring indoors, especially after today’s events.

She received another shrug from Goddard as he unzipped the tent, only to have it collapse at his feet.

T.J. couldn’t help but chuckle as she watched him stare at the pile looking perplexed and slightly embarrassed. “Would you like some help?” she offered.

Seth grumbled as he sorted through the pieces of his fallen shelter, but one look at T.J., and he could tell that hers was a friendly gesture, and that she was in no way mocking him. “Sure. Thanks.”

Once they fashioned the pieces into a sturdy dwelling, Davenport thought better of heading back inside and decided to address the Commander once more. “You helped save us all today. That was quite brave of you: facing your past in that way.”

Seth sat down on a tree stump in front of the fire. “You were pretty brave yourself. You backed me up and distracted Reaver long enough for me to sneak up on him and get a punch in.”

"I would have liked to punch him myself, given the chance," T.J. admitted, blushing.

"Note to self: watch what I say to T.J. from now on," Seth joked.

“I don't think you have any reason to worry," she reassured him with a grin. "You're on my good side."

His smile matched hers. "Nice to know. I must be doing something right, I'm just not sure what." Seth rummaged through his spacepack and grabbed a bag of marshmallows to roast over the fire. "Care for some?"

"Those don't look like regulation rations, Commander" T.J. teased him.

Seth patted the available space next to him. "C'mon, have a seat. I've actually been meaning to discuss something with you. Would you mind?"

She perched on the edge of the log, perplexed. "Is everything all right?"

Goddard tried to be someone the students could go to for help with their problems, but he was quickly discovering there were times he needed someone to talk to about his. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I feel like you and I are at a point where we can drop the formalities more often and talk openly about some things," he explained. "Considering we've been getting along pretty well lately, would you mind being my sounding board?"

“It would be nice to find time to talk more often," T.J. agreed. "Goodness, you didn't expect to bottle everything up for the better part of seven years, did you?"

Seven years. Maybe longer now that the ship had flown off course and crashed. Instead of bringing up this fact, Seth said, "What about you?"

Davenport looked sheepish when she replied, "I've been keeping a private journal."

Of course. Goddard shook his head and chuckled. "To answer your question, I don't know what I expected. But I don't want to put you in an awkward position."

T.J. tilted her head to the side in consideration and let a sly smile tug at the corner of her mouth. "At the very least, you may provide me with some useful blackmail material."

Goddard flashed his signature wry smile. "A risk I'm willing to take to save my sanity." He spotted a thin branch on the ground next to him, broke it in two, and passed half to T.J. along with the bag of marshmallows.

"I believe I already know the answer, but I will ask anyway..." She selected a sugary treat and daintily speared it with her stick. "What would you like to discuss?"

Seth took a moment to gather his thoughts as he prepared his own snack. "I’ve tried to be the commander this crew needs throughout all of the insane, impossible adventures we've had. And we've faced things no other STARDOG ever has or ever will."

"I think you've been doing a wonderful job, if that is any consolation," T.J. offered. "And I will be here for moral support anytime you should need it."

He relaxed somewhat; glad for T.J.'s encouragement. "Thank you. That really does mean a lot."

"But...?" She knew him too well.

"But what happened today... It scared me more than anything has in a long, long time. More than Spung attacks, more than being stranded, more than..." Seth grumbled in frustration.

He was worried the crew wouldn't think of him the same way anymore. He knew the kids heard rumors about why he was assigned to teach at the Starcademy. That never really bothered him, but taking a piece of his past that he wasn't very proud of and having the students see the ugly truth firsthand did.

"Today was my fault. Reaver was trying to settle a debt with me, and I put you all in danger."

Davenport offered a soft knowing smile. “While I cannot speak for the students, I know that I admire you more because of your actions today." _  
_

"But it took all my self-control not to kill the bastard! T.J., I never want the kids to see that side of me, and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if anything happened to the crew. Reaver is not a joke. He would have tortured the kids before selling them to the Spung as slaves! He could have..." Seth gulped. "You don't know what he's really capable of, and I am beyond relieved you didn't find out.”

T.J. trembled and tried not to think about what Reaver might have done to her, given the chance. "Let's not dwell on horrid things," she decided. "It is because of our ingenuity and teamwork that we are all safe now. You helped protect us."

"But if I hadn't—"

"Seth, stop," T.J. urged, moving to squeeze his hand. She closed her eyes for a second, blinking away the stuff of nightmares. "Please. I need you to believe it was simply an extraordinary coincidence we crossed paths with him today and that your knowledge of his strengths and weaknesses is what saved us."

The silence between them stretched long enough to grow past the point of being labeled "uncomfortable" into the territory of "upsetting." What if it hadn't been a coincidence?

Seth shook his head. "I don't know if I can be sure of that, Teej."

"Try? Please?" she requested, resisting the urge to add the unspoken 'for me.'

Seth simply nodded, noticing now how worried T.J. really was. No, worried wasn't the right word. She was properly scared. Part of him wanted to reassure her that all was well, but another knew she was wise to be afraid this time. And space hated liars. "What about you?" he tried again.

She blinked back her surprise, growing more uncomfortable as the attention was turned toward her once more. "What about me?"

"Are you okay? You look a little shaken up," he observed. "And I'd like to hope you'd feel comfortable discussing things with me, too. Talking to a compupad can only help so much."

T.J. flinched slightly. Of course, they were getting to know each other better, and they were becoming more skilled at reading each other. But sometimes she wanted to leave things well enough alone. "I suppose there are some things that have been weighing on my mind," she conceded.

"Such as?" he wondered, gently.

She looked away, and her shoulders sagged. Of course, he wouldn't let her off the hook that easily, but she didn't know if she was ready to have this particular conversation yet. She roasted her marshmallow over the fire and let go of Seth's hand to hastily cover a yawn.

"You should go inside and get some rest," Goddard suggested, disheartened that T.J. wasn't willing to share with him just yet, especially since he'd just laid out his own fears. Blackmail material. He hoped she had been joking.

"I'm fine, Commander," she murmured.

"You're not fine," he rejoined. "And you're not going back inside until I do, are you?" It wasn't so much a question as a realization. "You don't have to play the role of mother hen around me, T.J. And while we're dropping the formalities, call me Seth."

"Well, Seth, regardless of how I address you, I'm not taking any chances. You of all people should know that 'the vacuum of space isn't fair' sometimes."

"Yeah." A pause, then, "It sucks."

The joke caught T.J. off-guard. As tired and shaken as she was, she forgot to be shocked and instead broke into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Goddard chuckled along. "I suppose that was less poetic than 'it can destroy anyone who doesn't have what it takes to survive.' "

"Just a bit," she agreed.

"Well, if we're trading secrets, I might as well let you know that 'Space Sucks' was the title of my first draft. Keep that between us though, or Harlan might start submitting some creative essays of his own." Goddard laughed along and felt a pang in his chest as T.J. calmed down and smiled up at him. He wished she would allow herself to drop her defenses a little more often.

"I don't remember the last time I laughed like that," she admitted. "Thank you, Seth."

"Well, thank you for being good company," he offered.

"What did Father say when you handed in your draft?" T.J. wondered, unable to stifle another chuckle.

Seth snickered at the memory as he picked at his marshmallow. "I was sitting across from him in his office as he read it, and he did that thing where he clears his throat and peers over his glasses to glare at you."

"You mean this?" T.J. mimicked the look she knew all-too-well.

It was Seth's turn to laugh heartily. "That's it, exactly! How do you do that? That is uncanny!"

"I've been on the receiving end of his patented glare on many occasions. He used to give me that look when I..." T.J. trailed off and blushed.

Seth gave her a playful nudge. "Don't leave me in suspense. When you did what? You were a rebellious teenager, weren't you?" he teased her. "What did you do? No, wait. Let me guess."

T.J. rolled her eyes. "I was hardly rebellious at that age. Father gave me that look whenever I quoted your essays to win an argument against Mum," she confessed, feeling her face flush. "Only, the right side of his mouth would twitch into a small smile. That's how I knew he was never really upset with me." She looked away and let out a wistful sigh. "I just wish I had the chance to speak with him today."

"That would've been nice. He could have been a sounding board for the both of us," Seth agreed. "I bet your dad is so proud of you. You're out here facing your fears and having adventures, no longer under the thumb of the headmistress or a slave to protocol."

"I wouldn't be so sure." She frowned and mused, "I wonder how he feels about his daughter making up for lost time by running off and breaking as many rules as she could in one go."

"I'm sure he doesn't think that."

T.J. smiled sadly. "Why shouldn't he?"

"Hey, I think somehow your dad knows how well you're doing out here and how all the things we've faced have helped shape you into a brave and capable STARDOG."

"Well thank you, but—"

"No buts. Take the compliment, T.J."

She shivered and leaned closer to the fire. Goddard shook his head, disappointed that she seemed to be withdrawing again. He retrieved a blanket from his spacepack and draped it around her shoulders. "Here. Don't catch cold."

Davenport mumbled a "thank you" and adjusted the covering around herself.

"You're still not leaving me out here, are you?"

"Certainly not." T.J. yawned. "Excuse me."

"You are going to fall asleep and fall off this log if you're not careful."

"No, I won't," T.J. murmured. "You wouldn't let me fall."

"Here, lean on me." He allowed her to scoot closer and rest the majority of her weight against his side, while he wrapped his arm around her shoulder to brace her. "Comfy?"

Her voice barely above a whisper, she answered, "Yes. Thank you."

The two watched the dancing flames in silence for a moment, content just to be in each other's company. T.J. was the one who broke the spell. "How long will you be gone? On your expedition?"

"Until I find some ore, I guess. We can't get off the planet without it. I don't know how long it will take." Seth hummed as he thought about it. "A few days? A week? Maybe two? If you really don't want me wandering off on my own, you could come with me," he suggested.

"No. No, no, no." T.J. sputtered for a moment. "Someone has to hold down the fort here. I dread to think what kinds of shenanigans the kids will be involved in without supervision."

"Probably nothing too bad."

T.J. sat up straight and gave Seth her rendition of her father's patented glare. "The last time I left them unsupervised, they hopped onboard an unknown alien starship, took off, and got us stranded light-years away from home."

"But it... worked out...ish?" he countered lamely.

She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "We crash-landed on a planet!"

"And that's how we know the kids won't do something like that while we're gone." He grinned. "They're literally grounded."

T.J. cringed at the bad joke, tossed her marshmallow aside, and put her head in her hands. "Bloody hell, Seth. Honestly..."

"I'm trying to lighten the mood. After the day we've had, I think we could use some non-regulation rations and a good laugh, don't you?"

T.J. didn't react, save for a sniffle, and Seth suspected she was willing herself not to cry. "T.J.? What's going on? Talk to me, please? What's bothering you?"

T.J. dabbed at her eyes and adjusted her blanket more tightly around herself, staring morosely into the fire. She spoke slowly and purposefully. "My conversation with the headmistress earlier left me with the impression that there are many stories about what happened to me and even more opinions now regarding what will."

"Ignore the rumors. The opinions of people back home don't matter out here. You can't lose sight of who you really are, the things you really want, or your own truth."

"My own truth," T.J. echoed in a daze. "Well, that's—"

"Easier said than done, I know," Seth interrupted.

"No, it's another topic entirely," T.J. corrected him, pausing to bite her lower lip.

"How so?" Seth took a chance and pressed, "What _is_ your truth, T.J.?"

She made a noise halfway between a chuckle and a sob. "Like I said earlier: I broke as many rules as I could in one go," she finally admitted.

Seth didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it wasn't that. He raised his eyebrows at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I worked so hard for what I thought I wanted. And instead I ended up hyperfocused on my career and pushing people away and becoming lonely and miserable. In spite of my protests the day The Christa appeared at the Starcademy, a large part of me wanted to run away from all the stupid pressures of my depressing life. When we were thrown halfway across the galaxy, I became this cosmic joke because the reality of my daydream was more than I could handle. 'Be careful what you wish for' I suppose."

Seth remembered how T.J. tried to enter The Christa ahead of him when they first boarded. "You have two choices," he had told her, "you can either back me up, or you can run to the principal and tattle on me. Which is it gonna be?" She'd jerked away from him and forged ahead when he'd tried to stop her from venturing further into the ship. He'd been worried about her uncharacteristic behavior. At the time, he'd chalked it up to misplaced determination or one-upmanship or some unspoken challenge. She seemed to bounce back after: citing rules and regulations on a daily basis and allowing herself to be the disciplinarian she had been back at the Starcademy. Now, though...

T.J. often thought about what would have happened had she run to the headmistress instead of following after Goddard. The scenario invaded her dreams constantly, and she would wake up in a cold sweat each time. Seth and the students would have disappeared, and T.J. would have never forgiven herself for letting him go.

"If I hadn't gone with you, I would have been left thinking I was the one responsible for... The headmistress thought the crew was dead, Seth. Had I stayed behind, I would have thought the same."

She was crying in earnest now, and he was quick to wrap both arms around her to comfort her. "Hey, we're all safe. Everyone's fine. What happened to the T.J. who went toe-to-toe with me when we first boarded the ship? The one who talked me out of a funk when we crash-landed?"

"You mean the same T.J. who dared Warlord Shank to shoot her in front of her students?" she lamented.

"What?!" Goddard pulled back and studied the woman in his arms with great concern.

Davenport hung her head, unable to even look at Seth as she recounted the events of that day. "When Bova, Rosie, and I went into The Christa's sister ship to warn you about the explosives, Shank found us. I tried to put on a brave face, and at some point I gave him the choice to either shoot me or get out of my way. Had Bova not been there to stop him, there's a good chance I'd be dead right now and poor Rosie would be traumatized."

Seth's heart sank. "Teej..."

"I can't do anything right. I couldn't handle my job at the Starcademy, I can't handle life out here in space. Rules and schedules are the only things keeping me out of trouble, and when I deviate from that structure I make a mess. You may think me to be brave, but I fear I'm becoming more reckless instead. This impulsive side of me...is that who I am meant to be? I don't know if I like that person."

Seth held her more tightly as she continued to silently cry. He didn't know if he'd be able to make it throughout the rest of the journey without T.J. serving as the voice of reason. She seemed all-too adept at masking her pain the majority of the time, and that concerned him greatly: when else had she been hurting and he hadn't noticed? And how had she acquired that skill in the first place?

"I'm sorry," Seth found himself saying.

"You've done nothing wrong, Seth. Far from it."

"I'm sorry I never noticed how much you were hurting." He realized that her icy exterior was a part of her uniform. And if he ever found out who was responsible for causing T.J. enough pain to warrant using that survival skill on a daily basis, he would kill them with his bare hands.

Seth felt T.J. lower her head to his shoulder and lean more heavily against him. She had an incredible mind. Seth supposed her intelligence had been more than a little intimidating at first. She was smarter than he was, and they both knew it. But after a year of space travel, she had also become quite capable, whether she fully realized it or not.

T.J. rested her hand on his chest and felt Seth's heart thudding against her touch. His unabashed passion for adventure was what had put her off at first. He let his emotions drive his decision making, which is what she assumed caused him to go rogue and chase Reaver out of UPP territory. She had written him off as stubborn and had been ashamed to have ever admired him. But now it was his passion that she most admired. She didn't know how he had the courage to care about everyone and everything as deeply as he did, at the risk of losing everything. In her mind, that was true bravery.

"You are brave, T.J.," Seth declared. "More than I give you credit for. Whether you think so yourself or not."

"No, you are the brave one. I'm just rubbish. Has my midlife crisis come early, do you think?"

Seth chuckled. "No. With all we've endured recently, I'd be concerned if you weren't questioning certain things. But we'll keep each other in check, okay? You can let me know when I'm being an absolute idiot, and I'll remind you of who you are if you start to question yourself again."

"And who am I?"

"You, T.J. Davenport, are a strong, brilliant, stubborn, beautiful, infuriating woman that anyone would be lucky to have as a first officer," Seth declared. "How's that?"

T.J. shook her head and blushed. "Seth, you're an idiot."

"See? That's teamwork," he joked. "How 'bout we promise each other one more thing. From now on, I promise never to start a war with a half-cocked space pirate if you promise never to challenge a Spung warlord to a standoff. Deal?"

T.J. couldn't help but chuckle through her tears. The two of them did sound rather ridiculous when he put it like that. "But what if the Spung isn't a _warlord_ , per se...?"

This time Seth laughed along with her. "But what if you start a war with the space pirate and I challenge the Spung warlord?" he countered lightheartedly.

"It really would be quite satisfying to knock Reaver's lights out," T.J. contemplated aloud with a small smile.

"Oh trust me, it is very satisfying. And I would love to see you do it. You're a force to be reckoned with. He wouldn't know what hit him."

"It would be my fist, of course."

Seth laughed, continuing to hold T.J. in his arms. The last of her tears fell from her lashes as she realized how much she enjoyed being this close—physically and emotionally—to the incredible man serving as her support system.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Seth told her. "But we learn from them. And you know what? Out here, we've done something amazing for ourselves."

"What's that?"

"We've given ourselves a second chance. Being aboard this ship is a second chance for all of us: you, me, the students. And you know what?"

She lifted her head to look him in the eyes, surprised at the amount of adoration they contained. "What?"

He grinned. "Space loves second chances.”


	4. Prepare for the Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T.J. had come outside to give moral support, and she wasn't going to fail at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during “Homeward Bound.”  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Space Cases.

Goddard stood alone in the command post, studying the readouts on Suzee's console and comparing them to those on his compupad. By the looks of it, the young engineer had done a substantial amount of work to get the Christa spaceworthy in his absence. Whether or not that work would actually benefit the crew remained to be seen. Goddard didn't know if the UPP planned to board the ship, tow it home, or leave it behind. It didn't feel right leaving their haven broken down on some uncharted planet. The Christa had done a lot for them over the last year. It was a living ship, after all. Could Goddard really leave her half-dead in the middle of nowhere?

The jumptubes whirred, and Seth didn't need to look up to know who the new arrival was.

"Late night?" T.J. quipped.

He grinned to himself. "That does seem to be our greeting, doesn't it?" he offered over his shoulder.

"Don't you ever sleep, Commander?"

"Teej, we've talked about this."

"Fine. Don't you ever sleep, _Seth_?" she amended, humoring him.

"Not when there's work to do. I can sleep when I'm dead."

"Do not even joke about that."

"Well what about you?" he rejoined, concerned. He turned off his compupad and sat on the edge of the platform. "It may be a late night for me, but you're up too."

"You know I've had a lot on my mind lately. And there is even more to think about now."

There was nothing for them at the Starcademy anymore. T.J. was out of a job and out of luck. No one was likely to hire an administrator who had, as the headmistress put it, "abandoned her duties in favor of having a lark with a disgraced former starship captain." The commander's military trial would be held once they returned, and then what? He would be kicked out of the STARDOGS and maybe even thrown in jail, depending on how the prosecution spun the events surrounding his disappearance (compounded with his past indiscretions). T.J. and Seth had ultimately taken comfort in the fact that they wouldn't need to worry about their homecoming for at least six more years. Neither were prepared to face the music so soon.

Since the crew received word they'd be going home, the students had been exploring the planet and spending time with one another. But this was the first time T.J. had seen Seth since earlier that morning when he'd returned from his expedition. He cleaned up and spent the majority of the day communicating with the UPP in the command post while, unbeknownst to him, she used her computer prowess to frantically assemble reports and log entries as evidence for defense in his trial. She still needed to carve out time to speak with him amongst the numerous other tasks that she had yet to complete. In fact, she had just added the conversation to the top of her To Do list. (Jotting down his name alone had been a cringeworthy slip that caused her to blush even in the privacy of her own quarters, and she quickly corrected the item to "To Do: Speak with Seth.")

"It has been quite lonely over the past week," T.J. admitted.

"Without you" was the unspoken end of that sentence, and both parties acknowledged it privately but not aloud.

"Everyone seems to be happy about going home," she continued.

"But you're not," Goddard noticed.

T.J. watched Seth closely as he appeared to become lost in thought, first staring at her and then at the floor. She took a shot in the dark. "And you are not happy either. We should be though, shouldn't we? That would be the normal logical reaction, yes?"

"What's wrong with us, then?" he asked through a humorless chuckle.

T.J.'s heart sank. "No good deed goes unpunished, I suppose. We were meant to sacrifice seven years of our lives for the students, and they have become quite capable in such a short time. They are no longer the misfits we once thought them to be. It seems you and I are the outcasts."

Seth realized T.J. would not be taking a seat next to him, so he stood to meet her instead. "Well if I'm going to be an outcast, I'm glad I'm cast out with you."

She blushed. "As am I. No matter what happens when we get home, I will always be on your side. I mean that sincerely, Com— Seth."

"Thanks, T.J. That means a lot."

She sighed wistfully, and the combination of nostalgia, regret, and adoration in her eyes was something Seth had never seen before. Or maybe it had always been there when she looked at him, and he just hadn't been paying attention.

T.J. spoke evenly and almost sweetly after taking a moment to gather her thoughts, "I just wish I could make the court see what I see and what the crew sees. I know that we survived out here because of your leadership and because of the strength you gave us. You are a noble man and outstanding leader. And, on a personal note, I realize I...have come to rely on you a great deal," she finished lamely. Not a total lie.

"You're a brilliant woman, T.J. And I, uh, rely on you too. Maybe...I rely on you more than I should," Goddard contemplated.

Tears welled in her eyes and she started to lose her composure. "I don't want this to be goodbye," she blurted out, wringing her hands. "I wish we could repair the Christa and take off again. We will make it home eventually. Via the scenic route, as it were."

"Since when are you the one with the half-baked plans? I thought those were my specialty," he teased her.

"Impossible as it may sound, some of our half-baked plans have turned out rather well in comparison to strategies we carefully thought through together," T.J. rejoined. "Frankly, I'm not sure what that says about us. Should that worry me?"

After a beat, Seth realized her question wasn't a rhetorical one. "I don't know if I should be concerned about your uncertainty or the fact that you're not worried."

"Quite possibly both," T.J. admitted.

Goddard's smile faded. "We'll be miserable back home, won't we?"

"We may never see the crew again."

"Or each other."

The thought had certainly occurred to T.J. before that moment, but it hadn't seemed real until Seth said it aloud.

He stared at her, his gaze so significant, so soft yet so intense with emotion. Her heart thudded in her chest as she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body against his.

They stood in silence, simply enjoying the peace and comfort of holding each other close. T.J. nuzzled against his chest, and Seth placed a kiss in her hair.

"What are we doing?" she whispered.

"I don't know," was his reply.

"Me neither." She pulled away and took a deep breath. "I don't like not knowing."

"Commander!"

The adults jumped away from each other as Harlan, Radu, and Suzee rushed into the room, and the worry of killcruisers took over. The entire crew frantically worked to repair the Christa to get her spaceworthy before the Spung intercepted them, and there was no time for T.J. and Seth to continue their discussion. The ship was almost off the ground, with one last obstacle in the way: those damn strangling vines.

"Radu, I'll need some muscle," Goddard decided. "Come with me and we'll grab the laser saws."

T.J. blanched. He was going outside while the Spung fired at them? He could be shot on sight! But instead of challenging his decision and telling him to remain indoors, T.J. once again approached the line between bravery and stupidity.

"I'm coming too," she announced, hurrying over to the commander's side.

No. He couldn't let that happen. He knew she'd been taking more risks lately, and he felt sick thinking about what could happen to her if she stopped being the voice of reason now. No. God, no. Not with the risk of being left behind. Not with the risk of the Spung shooting or capturing her.

Instead of voicing his concerns in front of the students, Goddard overcorrected, aiming for "shocked" but landing on "offended" when he said, "We only have two laser saws. What are _you_ coming for?"

If T.J. registered his tone, she didn't let it show. Instead she momentarily fumbled for a lie, deciding on, "Moral support."

_Sometimes standing and waiting isn't enough to serve._

"Fine, just be careful," Goddard instructed. "We'll be right there. Meet us at the airlock while we pick up the tools from the cargo bay."

T.J. nodded and hurried from the room. When Seth was certain she was out of earshot, he whispered to Radu, "If things get dicey out there, your first priority is to make sure she gets back inside to safety. Understood?"

The Andromedan shook his head and licked his lips nervously. "Commander?"

"If I tell you to go inside, you take her with you, and you do not let her out of your sight. That is an order."

***

Goddard and Radu were almost finished cutting through the mass of vines to free the Christa when three frag torpedoes struck within meters of the ship. T.J. yelped, urging the men to hurry up.

"Gentlemen, any time!"

Goddard yelled over the sound of the explosions, jerking his head in the direction of the airlock. "Radu! Go! Go!"

The student complied, quickly powering down his laser saw with one hand and wrapping his other arm around Davenport's waist, practically dragging her inside with him.

"No! Wait! Don't! Mister Radu, let go of me this instant!" T.J. protested, struggling to break free from the strong Andromedan's grasp. She somehow ended up slung over his shoulder as she continued to flail and he tried his best to keep her from breaking away. "Put me down! What do you think you are doing?"

The genuine apology was evident in the navigator's voice when he answered, "I'm sorry, I'm just following orders. I promised."

T.J.'s eyes went wide as she stopped struggling and her heart plummeted. "Go back outside and help him," she instructed as Radu set her back on her feet.

"But Commander Goddard said—"

"One of us has to go back out there, and he obviously doesn't want it to be me." She gulped. "Help him. Please."

Suddenly the Christa lurched, and T.J. scrambled to brace herself against the airlock walls to keep from falling. When the ship landed on the planet's surface, she heard a horrific scream that shocked every nerve in her body.

God, no.

She stumbled back over to the ship's entrance as Seth continued to cry out in agony. T.J. stared at the scene for several seconds before she could make sense of what she was seeing.

Seth was not on the ship; the ship was on him.

T.J. called his name over the sound of the blaring engines until her voice was hoarse. It was a miracle that she did not faint right then and there. Radu cut through the last of the vines before looking between the two adults as he wondered what to do.

"Hand the laser saw to me, and get the him out of there!" T.J. ordered. "Quickly, pass it to me!"

Radu obeyed and hurried to tend to the commander. Seth was still conscious, and Davenport set the saw aside and watched in horror as Radu dragged Goddard out from underneath the massive starship. She sank down to the floor, shaking, as she listened to the exchange between the commander and his charge.

"Leave me!" Seth pleaded. "That's an order!"

"No way, Sir!"

"You never could follow an order!"

With seemingly no effort, Radu carried Goddard into the ship and carefully set him down next to T.J. She knew Seth could die, or at best he might never be able to walk again. She leaned out of the airlock and vomited at the thought, and Radu quickly pulled her back inside. She collapsed on the floor next to the crew's fallen leader as Radu closed the outer airlock doors and the ship finally took off with all hands aboard.

Goddard's cries of agony sent chills down T.J.'s spine. She feared she would be sick again as she watched his upper body thrashing on the floor, while his lower half was twisted in a bloody mess. She choked back the bile in her throat and willed herself to stop shaking as she grasped his hand and tried to soothe him. "Seth, it will be all right. We'll get you to the med lab. Just hold on."

His hand was like a vice around hers. Finally, he managed to speak through gritted teeth and labored breaths. "Teej. Get them home."

T.J. couldn't contain her tears any longer. They flowed freely down her cheeks as she addressed the commander through hiccupping sobs. "I won't take over for you because you will be fine," she insisted. She came outside to give moral support, and she wasn't going to fail at that. "Seth, you're not going anywhere. You cannot give up. Don't you dare give up on me!"

"Promise. Me."

She shook her head. "You cannot die. Do you hear me, Seth Goddard? I forbid it! Do not die on me! That is an order!"

The commander was crying now too, and T.J. suspected his tears weren't solely caused by the considerable amount of physical pain he was experiencing in that moment. "Order?" He groaned. "Or challenge?"

There was no malice in her voice, only fatigue when she answered, "God damn it, Seth. If it needs to be a challenge, then I challenge you to survive this. And you'd better be up to it."

His eyelids were growing heavy, his entire being exhausted as he tried again. "Please. Promise. The crew. Watch over them. I'm sorry... Teej, I can't... I..."

T.J. felt his hand slipping from hers as he started to lose consciousness. "I promise!" The words were ripped from her throat. If this was going to be their last conversation, she didn't want it to be one in which she cursed him and refused to take care of their crew. "I promise, Seth. I promise, I promise, I promise..."

He managed a nod as he finally slumped against her. She found herself cradling his head in her lap, powerless to help him. She fumbled to find his pulse. It was weak, but it was there. She hadn't lost him yet.

Radu crouched down next to her and said, "I'll carry him to the med lab, but then I need to get back to the command post and help the others navigate out of this sector."

T.J. nodded absentmindedly and watched as Radu lifted Goddard out of her arms and into his. "Careful, Dear. Carefully now," she instructed as she followed him numbly through the corridors, wiping away a never-ending stream of tears as they walked.

Radu gently set the commander down on the exam chair, unsure of what to do next.

"Run along," T.J. instructed the young man. "But inform Rosie to get down here immediately."

The Andromedan nodded and licked his lips as his eyes darted between a dazed Davenport and the jumptubes. "Are...a-are you okay here?"

Of course she wasn't okay. She was currently staring at a disheveled student caked in the blood of his commanding officer. She looked down at her own trembling red-stained hands in a state of morbid fascination. "You're dismissed, Mister Radu."

The Andromedan nodded and left T.J. alone in the med lab with Seth. She scrubbed her hands raw and then washed her face in the room's small sink before taking a deep breath to brace herself and look at the commander's broken form. She was amazed that he'd stayed conscious as long as he had.

T.J. fumbled with the macroscanner before deciding against using it. She returned the device to its cradle. Knowing exactly how many bones were broken or the extent of Seth's internal bleeding wasn't going to help her any. The fact that he was still alive was a miracle in and of itself.

"I could use a few more miracles," T.J. whispered to no one in particular.

She yelped and stumbled backwards at the sudden pneumatic hissing sound that filled the room as one of the ceiling panels opened up and what appeared to be an advanced cryonic suspension pod lowered itself to hover a few feet above the floor.

Rosie entered a few moments later with the rest of the crew not far behind. T.J. was livid.

"Mister Radu, I told you to fetch Rosie and only Rosie! The rest of the crew does not need to see this! Everyone else out! Now!"

The crew didn't listen, and T.J. leaned against the countertop, too distracted and emotionally drained to put up more of a fight.

Harlan's eyes went wide at the sight of their leader lying lifelessly on the exam chair. "Oh man. Oh…oh man."

Suzee gasped and turned away. Bova muttered something pessimistic under his breath and shook his head. Rosie, on the other hand, had no time to stand and gawk.

The Mercurian entered doctor-mode and began spouting orders: for Radu to carry Seth to the strange chamber, for T.J. to hook up several monitors, and for the rest of the crew to stand back. Even after they followed the young physician's instructions, Goddard did not look any better.

"He looks really bad." Harlan sighed as the crew gathered around the chamber.

"Well, he's fine." Even when Rosie argued, she managed to sound optimistic.

"He's fine? How exactly is that fine?" Harlan snapped, obviously upset.

"Well, the Christa's living systems have hooked onto the commander to help heal his internal injuries while he sleeps." Rosie looked to T.J. and added, "He's not feeling any pain."

"Well if sleep is what the commander needs, sleep is what he should get," T.J. declared. "Everyone out."

As the students filed out the door, T.J. leaned closer to the chamber and delicately rested her fingertips on the glass. She stared down at Seth through tear-filled eyes. "Why would you do something like that?" she whispered. "Maybe if I hadn't been out there to bloody panic and be a distraction, you and Radu could have made it back inside sooner. What were you thinking, asking Radu to tend to me?"

"I believe I have the answers," Thelma announced.

Davenport jumped, unaware that the android had stayed behind. "Bloody hell, Thelma!"

"What happened was an accident. It is no one's fault: not the commander's, not Radu's, and not yours," Thelma stated as if it was fact. "Commander Goddard likely asked Radu to look after you because he wanted to ensure your safety."

"But now this has happened." T.J. started to cry again. "And I don't know what to do without him. He's my..." She shook her head.

"Miss Davenport? I am a human emulating machine, but I am afraid I still struggle with defining relationships, especially those which do not appear to be easily categorized. What is Commander Goddard in relation to you? Is he your commanding officer? Your colleague? You acquaintance? Your friend?"

Thelma stopped there, but a series of seemingly contradictory terms ran through T.J.'s mind to continue the list: strength, weakness, conscience, temptation, motivation, distraction, supporter, challenger, confidant…

She took a deep breath and abruptly stopped her own train of thought. "He is someone on whom I very much rely," T.J. declared.

Thelma's eyes shifted from side to side as she processed this information. Once finished, she offered the former assistant principal some semblance of a smile, but one T.J. had never seen on the android's face before.

She knew.

Thelma, who was prone to taking most everything at face-value, had cracked the code behind the spoken half-truth. Her knowing sympathetic expression was a small comfort to T.J. who, until this point, had tried so hard to hide her emotional attachment to the commander and even repress the feelings she had for him. Ignoring them and hoping they would go away had not done any good. The feelings were still there and even more pronounced now as she stared down at him in his current state.

"What do I do now?" T.J. wondered in a voice barely above a whisper.

Thelma blinked before reciting, "You have to go on. You have to be brave. He would want that."

The all-too-familiar words plucked from Thelma's data banks were meant to be comforting, but they had the opposite effect on T.J. "What he would want is to live," she insisted. "What he would want is…"

The thought troubled T.J. that even though they had grown closer, she didn't know what he wanted. Not really. She hadn't gotten around to having that conversation with him. The spot next to that item at the top of her To Do list was left unchecked and would likely remain that way for a while.

 


	5. Promises, Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie entered the medlab to find her teacher fast asleep in the exam chair, and not for the first time since the commander had entered the healing chamber...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Space Cases, but I miss it a whole lot.

Rosie entered the medlab to find her teacher fast asleep in the exam chair, and not for the first time since the commander had entered the healing chamber. The Mercurian usually didn’t have the heart to wake her, but this time Davenport began whimpering in her sleep with an expression on her face Rosie could only describe as one of pain.

Rosie approached the ship's current ranking officer and gently rested a hand on her shoulder to rouse her. “Miss Davenport?” 

T.J. awoke with a start. The harsh lights of the medlab stung her eyes, and she attempted to blink back a headache. She sighed as she worked out a crick that had inevitably settled in her neck in the same spot as it had the morning before...and the morning before that. 

Sleeping in the exam chair had not been one of her better ideas. 

T.J. muttered what Rosie identified as an Earth expletive, but she quickly apologized once she realized what had happened, explaining away her behavior with, “I'm sorry, Rosie. It was a late night.” 

_"Late night?"_

T.J. slumped back into the chair as she stared at the healing chamber and fought against a fresh wave of tears. 

Rosie offered Davenport a tissue and a sympathetic smile. “He looks worse than he is. I’ve been tracking his progress. The ship is healing his injuries and will make him as good as new." 

T.J. dabbed her eyes. “Good. Because I plan on having him stick around for a very long time.” 

If Rosie had eyebrows or a hairline, the former would have risen to meet the latter. 

“I mean, he will live a long life, of course,” T.J. amended, feeling her face flush. “Goodness. What must you think of me in here crying like this? I’m sure I don't inspire much confidence." 

“It’s okay to care about the commander." 

“Well of course we need everyone to get home, and he is remarkably skilled at running this ship—“ 

Rosie giggled. “No, I mean it’s okay for you to _care_ _about him_.” 

T.J. gulped and stared at the floor. 

“Thelma and I have caught you sleeping in here before. More than once,” the young physician explained. "But don't worry. We won't tell anyone." 

T.J. cleared her throat and wiped her eyes while Rosie booted up her compupad to download the commander's latest health report from the Christa's computer systems. 

"How is he really, Rosie?" 

"He's progressed really well over the past few days. Shouldn't be long now. And he will be in even better shape than before he went in." 

T.J. was about to snap that practically any state was better than the one Seth had been in when they put him inside, but she knew what Rosie had meant, and the girl didn't deserve her wrath. The Mercurian had grown into quite a capable young medical officer as she tracked the commander's progress and offered reassurance when T.J.'s train of thought travelled down the darker tracks of "What if?" 

"So, I guess you haven't been sleeping well, huh?" Rosie asked, concerned.

"Can't say I have, no," T.J. admitted. 

"When was the last time you had something to eat? I know you weren't at dinner last night." 

"I prepared myself some tea."

"Tea is not a meal, Miss Davenport." 

T.J. was exasperated. "Rosie, I assure you I am fine." 

The girl shook her head. "That's the thing though. Anyone can see you're not. You're on the verge of literally worrying yourself sick." 

"I promised I would take care of the crew, and—" 

"But you're part of the crew, too," Rosie declared, emphatically. "And if something happens to you, then what?" 

T.J. glanced down at her wrinkled uniform. She grimaced as she wiped the tears from her face and noticed her mascara had wandered to settle in the creases under her eyes. 

"He wouldn't want to see you this way." 

"Well I suppose it's a good thing he can't see me right now, isn't it?"

Rosie glanced down at her compupad at the readings again before looking back up at her teacher. "Do you think you can bounce back by the end of the week?" 

"That is asking for a lot, Rosie." 

She giggled. "Better be up to the challenge, since that's when the commander _will_ be around to see you." 

T.J. gasped. "What did you just say?" 

Rosie offered her a megawatt smile. "Commander Goddard should be ready to leave the healing chamber by the end of the week." 

T.J. leaped up from her seat and quickly moved over to stand beside the chamber, staring down at Seth with tears in her eyes. "But he looks so..." 

"I told you, he looks worse than he is."

T.J. felt a smile grace her lips for the first time in a while. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she smiled or felt this happy or relieved. "Thank you, Rosie." 

"You're welcome, Miss Davenport," the girl answered, surprising the teacher with the warmest hug she had ever received. 

It was all too much for T.J. who realized with horror that she'd begun crying yet again. 

"What's wrong?" Rosie wondered, pulling away to study the look on the former assistant principal's face. "I thought you'd be happy." 

"I am, dear," T.J. reassured her. "These past few weeks have been so stressful. I'm just so relieved and..." 

"And you're feeling a lot of things at once?" Rosie offered. 

"That about covers it, yes," T.J. affirmed. "Thank you again, Rosie." 

"Thank _you_ , Miss Davenport." 

"Whatever for?" 

"For taking care of us and putting up with us when things aren't exactly, you know, great?" She glanced at the commander to illustrate her point. "I can't imagine it's easy. You put on a brave face for us and tried to maintain a routine. I think he'd be proud of you." 

"Do you think so?" T.J, suddenly felt like an adolescent attempting to gain approval. 

"Well, I'm proud of you," Rosie offered. 

T.J.'s lip began to tremble as she willed herself to stop crying, "Thank you, Rosie," she managed in a whisper. She took a calming breath adding, "That means so very much to me. Truly. Thank you." 

"I just wish you'd take better care of yourself." 

"I will try." 

"That's not a suggestion. Doctor's orders," Rosie amended. "Follow them, please." 

*** 

T.J. really did try. Knowing that Seth would be up and about in a matter of days was a relief, but now it was the anticipation that was keeping her awake at night. The evening before Goddard was to be released, Rosie caught T.J. in the medlab yet again. 

"Go to sleep, Miss Davenport," Rosie lightly scolded her teacher. 

T.J. was curled up on the exam chair, keeping watch over the commander. "I'm trying, dear." 

The Mercurian sighed. "I mean in your bunk." She took the teacher by her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Commander Goddard will be ready to come out tomorrow morning. I've got to prepare a few things for when that happens. Be back here at 0700. That's when the chamber will begin weaning him off his sedatives. You can greet him first thing." 

T.J. allowed the girl to lead her over to the jumptubes. She punched in the code for her quarters and trudged over to her bed when she landed, sparing a glance at the electronic photo frame on her nightstand. 

The device had appeared the day after they'd left the planet. T.J. didn't know how it had gotten there or who had preloaded the frame with images. None of the crew had freely admitted to it, and frankly T.J. was too embarrassed to ask who had left her what had become such a personal gift. 

As the weeks passed, new images appeared in the cycle, though T.J. didn't know how or by whom. She wasn't certain if she should be comforted or unsettled by the fact that those photographs seemed to be ones only the ship could have taken. When she had tried to sleep in her quarters, she found herself mesmerized by the images, as she lay awake, allowing her mind to wander. Sometimes the photos provided comfort; sometimes the same images brought only heartache. She was conflicted—her mind was at war with her heart; and her heart, at war with itself. 

Tonight the photos were heartening. The display changed to show an image captured during Neinstein's brief takeover of the ship: a young T.J. and Seth were seated at Rosie's communications console just after she had used her computer prowess to defeat the alien tyrants. T.J. was smiling, and Seth crouched next to her, grinning. _"Way to go, T.J.!"_ She had nearly forgotten about that. It seemed like it had happened a lifetime ago. 

T.J. was physically exhausted, but her mind was on overdrive. She'd happily try to fall asleep in her makeup and uniform, but Rosie had been lecturing her about self-care lately. She managed to take the time to wash her face, brush her teeth, and change into her nightgown before climbing under the covers and allowing fond memories to lull her to sleep. 

*** 

The chime to her quarters rang, and an anxious yet still somehow cheery Rosie called to her from the other side of the door. 

T.J. rolled over and checked the time. Her eyes widened in horror as 0900 stared back at her. 

"Goodness!" she yelped, making a beeline for the door. "Rosie, I'm so sorry. I—"

When the doors opened, Rosie was indeed on the other side of the threshold, but so was a grinning Commander Seth Goddard. T.J. leaned against the doorframe to support herself. 

"Late night?" Seth quipped. He offered her his signature wry smile, which did absolutely nothing to help her shocked state. 

"I'll leave you two to catch up," Rosie offered with a wide grin. "Welcome back, Commander!" 

"Good to be back." 

Rosie chuckled before scampering off to find the others (and tell them _not_ to interrupt their teachers under any circumstances), leaving T.J. and Seth to have some privacy. 

Seth's bright blue eyes glimmered with mischief. He looked happier and healthier than she'd seen him in a long time. 

"Seth, you're..." 

"I'm back," he confirmed as his grin grew even wider. 

That smile usually made T.J. figuratively weak in the knees, but this time her legs actually buckled. His reflexes were quick, and he caught her with an "I've got you," and helped her back to her feet. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," T.J. apologized, shaking. "When you woke up. I wanted to be."

"I know. But you were there for me nearly every other minute you weren't teaching a class or looking after the kids. In a way, I'm glad you weren't there this morning. Means you were finally getting some sleep... I hope." 

He frowned at her she invited him in and shut the door. She appeared so frail, and he was positive she had lost weight since the last time he'd seen her. Her fiery red hair had lost some of its luster, and her lips were thinner and her eyes duller than he remembered. 

"You were half-dead and your conscious thoughts included worrying about me?" she whispered in disbelief.

"You were worrying about everyone else. Someone had to worry about you." He allowed her to lean entirely against him, and he was shocked by how small she felt in his arms as he gathered her in his embrace. "I'm sorry I abandoned you." It was an illogical apology, and they both knew it, but Seth didn't know what else to say. "T.J., I'm so, so sorry." 

He caught sight of a flickering light over her shoulder by her bed. "What's that?" 

T.J. followed Seth's gaze to the photo frame and blushed as she turned in his arms. "I assume it was the Christa's doing. It appeared a few weeks ago. Right after you..." 

Seth walked over to the nightstand and picked up the device as the images shifted, displaying another one from their time under Neinsten's governance. They were covered in whipped cream, silly string, and feathers, having a pillow fight in the galley. 

Seth chuckled. "Wow, I forgot about that." 

T.J. managed to muster a smile as she came to stand by his side. "As did I." 

"You look like you were having so much fun." 

"I believe I was." 

"Me too." 

Another picture: their dance during the Saturnian Rejoycing Festival. Seth was dipping T.J. to the floor, and they were both smiling at each other. 

Both remained captivated as the images continued to change every 30 seconds or so. And Seth noticed something similar in each of the photographs: something he first noticed the day they left Kareesh 9. 

He hummed thoughtfully. "It's the same in every picture."

"What is?" 

"The way you look at me." He went for broke, "The way I guess this proves you've always looked at me." 

Seth was right; there was no mistaking the adoration in her eyes when she looked at him, and her feelings must have been obvious to any third party. The pictures clearly showed how much she cared about him, and keeping the frame on her nightstand only provided further proof. 

T.J. fumbled for an excuse. A way out. She was becoming emotionally claustrophobic. "I promised I wouldn't..." she whispered. She looked away from him and finally admitted, "I promised myself that I wouldn't get too attached to anyone."

To say he was disappointed would be an understatement, and his voice was unintentionally harsh when he addressed her, "How's that working out? Because I made a similar promise a while back. Wasn't long before you gave me no choice but to break it." 

Oh no. No, they weren't going to do this now. Not now. 

T.J. shook her head. "No." 

"No?" 

"That is what I said." 

Not now, not now. 

"You're kidding, right? T.J., you're a really important part of my life. I thought—I hoped—I was an important part of yours. And for some reason, despite everything I've seen from you, you still stubbornly insist—" 

"You are, you stupid arse!" she exploded. "You'd have to be an idiot to think otherwise! Hell, even Thelma has figured it out!" 

T.J. turned away and pinched the bridge of her nose as she felt a headache coming on. He'd forced her hand, and she had no choice but to be completely honest with him now. Damn him for riling her. 

"You are important to me, Seth. You are." She took a deep breath to calm her nerves in vain. Her voice was suddenly small when she confessed, "But my brain keeps screaming 'no' because cannot lose someone else."

He felt numb as the pieces fell into place: the reason she closed herself off, the reason she worried so much, the reason she wanted an escape, the reason she used rules as a safety net, the reason she feared becoming someone who made hasty decisions... 

Seth gulped. "Shit." 

"Indeed." 

"I... am an ass." 

"Indeed." 

"T.J., I'm so," his voice caught in his throat, "so sorry." 

"You couldn't have known." 

"I should have though." He sighed.

Davenport never did anything without a good reason, so whenever she'd start to pull away or close herself off from him, Seth knew there had to be a very good reason. He'd been foolish, hoping for a warm welcome this morning, but his absence had nearly broken her. 

"Please forgive me, Teej." 

She sniffled. "I'd forgive you anything." 

"What do you need?" 

She needed to make a decision. She needed to be brave and stop running from her feelings. But she also needed to properly grieve. She needed to clear her head. And she needed for Seth to respect her boundaries while she did all of those things. 

T.J. noticed him in her periphery looking over her from head to toe. When she turned to face him again, the mixture of shock, sadness, and guilt that overtook his features was staggering. T.J. said nothing as she tentatively stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him, and he reflexively mirrored her. 

"I've come to rely on you quite heavily," she whispered, leaning against his chest and listening to the steady comforting sound of his heartbeat. 

"I know. Me too." 

"It's terrifying." 

"I know. For me too." He placed a kiss in her hair. "But I've got you." 

Her eyes fluttered closed, and she finally answered his question, "Please be patient with me."

He chuckled, the rumbling in his chest startling her, and she looked up at him quizzically as he explained, "Teej, you're stuck with me: for the next few years anyway. After that, it's up to you. Personally, I hope it doesn't take you that long, but I'll follow your lead." 

She let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." 

"As for the immediate future, here's what I hope will happen: for the rest of the day, you're going to stay in bed. I'll bring you something to eat—because tea is not a meal—and then you get some more sleep."

Alarm bells went off in her head. "What did you just say about tea?"

The mischievous glimmer was back in his eyes. "Tea is not a meal." 

T.J. gulped. "Rosie said those exact words to me the other night." 

Seth smiled. "I know. I was there." 

The penny dropped. T.J.'s eyes went wide as she mentally catalogued the interactions she'd had with Rosie and Thelma in the medlab as well as her daily reports, musings, and what amounted to therapy sessions where she voiced all her concerns without judgment or interruption. "Oh my God. You heard me. You heard _everything_." 

Goddard chuckled. 

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Seth Goddard!" She swatted him on the shoulder and gasped, backing away from him when he grimaced. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Your injuries—" 

"Are healed," he said through a laugh. "Relax, T.J. I'm messing around." 

"That is decidedly not funny!" she snapped, taking the opportunity to smack him a few more times for good measure as he snickered.

"You get all the violence out of your system?" he teased.

"For now." She glared at him playfully. 

He was grateful to see the fire return to her eyes; T.J. was already starting to look like her old self. Seth never would have guessed that his presence affected her so much. Had he not heard what she'd sounded like without him and witnessed the aftermath of his absence, he wouldn't have believed it. 

"Okay, new plan. How about you get cleaned up," he decided. " 'Hop to it. I will wait outside this door until you emerge in full uniform, ready to start the day,' " he teased her.

"Is that what you think I sound like?" she huffed in mock-annoyance. 

"Of course not. I've just missed... this. I had a lot of time to come up with some really good zingers, and I've had to wait so long to use them." 

She glared at him with more than a hint of a smile twitching at her lips. "I'm sure." 

"So how 'bout you get dressed, and then we'll kick the kids out of the lounge so we can relax and talk. I'll let you ask me anything you want, and I promise I will answer honestly. We can do this as often as you want, for as long as you want, until you think we're even. How does that sound?" 

It sounded heavenly. "Sounds like you may be getting yourself into some trouble."

"Trouble? Me? Never."

Her stomach rumbled, startling both of them. T.J. cringed, embarrassed. 

"Okay, new-new plan," Seth declared. "I'm hungry too. You get dressed, then we get food, then we go to the lounge. How do waffles and strawberries sound?" 

T.J. blushed. "Goodness, you do know me." 

Goddard shrugged. "Your visits were very enlightening."

T.J. began laughing and found she couldn't stop. Seth pulled her into his arms again and listened as her laughter petered into sniffles. 

"Still feeling a lot of things at once?" he wondered. 

"You have no idea." 

"Thank you for taking care of everyone in my absence. Now it's time I return the favor and help you take care of yourself, okay? You are relieved of duty for as long as you need to relax and recover." 

"No, I'm fine," T.J. insisted. 

"T.J. you're not fine. Please promise me you'll take care of yourself and you'll let me help you."

She looked up at him and noted the amount of concern on his face. He appeared to be as worried about her now as she had been about him the past few weeks. "Of course," she answered. 

"Good. I'll hold you to that." He appeared thoughtful for a moment. "But before I let you start grilling me, can you be honest with me about one last thing?" 

T.J. gulped. "What is it?"

"What the hell was that Eaty thing? It sounded ridiculous!"


	6. Truth or Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T.J. thought the experience of facing her evil twin might be cathartic, but the confrontation was more intense than she anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: Davenport/Goddard (Goddenport?) mentioned Davenport/OC. OC's name is very unoriginal but there are only so many ways one can manipulate certain names to come up with a new one. Sorry/not sorry.
> 
> Note: I don't own Space Cases, but I miss it a whole lot. Angst warning. Lots of hurt/comfort this chapter. Future chapters will get back to the banter.

Seth hovered in the doorway watching T.J. clean the lounge. She had no reason to use an old-fashioned broom to sweep up the mess of recycled hyperdrive insulation, but Seth knew she was using the opportunity to feel productive while providing herself with a distraction. He checked the time and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could... 

"Do not say it," T.J. warned him without turning around. 

He chuckled. "You knew I was here?" 

"Yes. And if you say what I think you are going to..." 

"Would you rather say it?" 

"No." 

"How come?" 

She bit her lip before revealing, "The conversations that follow tend to catch me off-guard." 

"Maybe it has less to do with the greeting and more to do with the timing," he suggested. 

T.J. shrugged, but Seth could tell something was wrong. She was closing herself off and had been doing so for the past week, since he emerged from the healing chamber. They were dancing around each other again, and he hated it: one step forward, two steps back. 

He approached the conversation with caution. "Did you want help with cleaning? You usually like your privacy, but you left the door open so I figured—" 

"I did not leave it open; the Christa did. It now refuses to close," she stated matter-of-factly. 

Goddard ignored her dismissive tone and eyed the access crystal. It usually glowed a blue-violet while the doors were open, but it was now blinking blue, then red. He shook his head. "What's wrong with the Christa today?" 

T.J. rolled her eyes. "If I had a credit for every time I wondered that. Are you going to continue standing in the doorway for the remainder of our conversation?" 

"I was waiting for an invitation. Thought it paid to be polite," he added with a cheeky grin. "Permission to enter?"

She hesitated before finally deciding, "Permission granted." 

The orb turned red, and the mechanism shut suddenly. Seth took a startled leap forward to avoid getting caught in the door. T.J. managed a chuckle at his expense before looking somber and turning away. At least he'd gotten her to smile. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. 

"You don't have to be the one cleaning up the mess. Thelma and the Gizbot can get this place spotless in a matter of minutes," he offered casually. 

T.J. continued working anyway. "I am aware." 

"Well, it might take a bit longer than that." He looked around the room and reassessed its state of disarray. "If you think this is impressive, you should see my bunk." 

Her eyes went wide as she dropped a handful of pink insulation and turned toward him with her mouth agape. He immediately backpedaled, suddenly painfully aware of his poor choice of phrasing. 

"Wait! No! I didn't mean... I meant that my living quarters are a mess. Sorry." He paused. "Although my rooms were surprisingly clean after I... When I..." 

He had been trying not to remind T.J. of his stay in the healing chamber, and if he needed to reference that span of time, he made an effort to use either neutral or positive terminology. He started over, deciding on, "My quarters were clean last week."

Davenport had been restless while Goddard was on the mend and had allowed herself into his rooms to straighten up. This fact was soon made apparent when Seth recalled how similarly her quarters had been organized the morning he emerged from the healing chamber. He kept the revelation to himself. 

"I guess Thelma tidied up for me while I was, uh, recovering," he said instead. 

T.J.'s cheeks flushed. "Well, what Thelma does in her free time is always sort of a mystery, isn't it?" Not an outright lie. 

Seth cleared his throat, trying to diffuse the awkward tension that had engulfed the room. "You up for another round of questions?" 

"No, that's quite all right. In fact, I do not wish to pry anymore." 

Seth narrowed his eyes in confusion. "You've barely scratched the surface. In the last few days, you've only asked me about my likes and dislikes: favorite song, least-favorite food, all the boring stuff. I've been waiting for the hard-hitting questions, and I know you've got them. C'mon, Teej. Anything is fair game." 

"It is not a game, it never was, and I wish you'd stop treating it as one," she stated with a sense of finality. She trudged through the mess to slump down into the cushions of the circular couch with a look of defeat on her face. "But I suppose I do have one question." 

Seth sat next to her allowing for a bit more space between them than he would have liked.

"Fire away." 

T.J. delicately touched the bruising around her eye. She winced and asked, "What did you think of her?" 

"What did I think...of your twin?" Goddard shook his head. "Why does it matter?" 

"I think it matters a great deal," T.J. declared. "She had my memories, my strengths, and my weaknesses. I am capable of being as horrible as she was, if provoked. That is how it works, right?" 

"But you're not horrible. And I don't think anything would push you to act the way she did." 

"You do not know that for certain. Even I do not know that for certain. In fact, I was the one who threw the first punch. She goaded me into violence, and I let her."

"Because you didn't think she'd be expecting it, right?" Seth reasoned. "You were probably trying to catch her off-guard and—" 

"You can rationalize my behavior however you'd like. It still happened, and I am not proud of it. As a matter of fact, I am properly horrified." 

"And you want to know what I thought of her?" 

"Of the worst parts of me, yes. And please do not lie to me." 

"I knew something was very wrong." 

"And?" 

"And...what?" 

"I saw you on the viewscreen. She insulted you, and you looked positively disgusted with her. Or rather, you looked disgusted with the woman you thought was me." 

"It wasn't disgust. It was disbelief."

"I thought she was disturbing, for what it's worth," T.J. revealed. "So I suppose I couldn't blame you if you felt the same." 

"She did say some nasty things to me." He shrugged. "But I've got pretty thick skin. What concerns me is what she said to _you_." 

T.J. bristled. "How do you mean?" 

"You tell me. She got to you, didn't she? She said something to shake you up." 

"I thought the experience of facing her might be cathartic, but the confrontation was more intense than I anticipated. That's all."

Softer now, he said, "Teej, I want to help. Please don't shut me out." 

She fidgeted uncomfortably, staring down at her hands as she spoke. "Our evil counterparts could have taken over the ship and taken over our lives. Thelma said they meant to kill us, assume our identities, wipe out the Ruzzlians, and use the hyper warp way to proliferate chaos across the galaxy." 

Goddard remained pokerfaced. "Okay. Galactic domination. What else?" 

"Goodness! Isn't that dreadful enough?" 

"It's terrifying," he agreed, "but I can tell there's more. I know you. Your twin may have had your strengths and weaknesses, but not your emotions. And I'm guessing that's _how_ she got to you." 

T.J. closed her eyes and somehow managed to control the tremor in her voice when she requested, "If I tell you, please promise you will not look at me the way you looked at her." 

He immediately took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. She studied his face, noting concern and a softness in his eyes that she'd been seeing more and more lately. 

"Seth?" 

"I promise." 

"Rosie and I encountered our duplicates here, in the lounge. And, um..." T.J. took a moment to collect her thoughts. Seth was patient with her, watching her with rapt attention and waiting for her to continue. "I needed to do something unpredictable to catch my double off-guard..." 

_T.J's evil twin looked at her with disdain as "Ruby" followed Rosie to the far corner to continue their altercation.  
_

_"And now I suppose you'll dazzle me with your intellect, or give me demerits, or faint," Davenport's doppelganger sneered._

_She needed to do something spontaneous.  
_

_"No, actually, I think I'll just knock your lights out," T.J. said calmly, before jumping into a fighting stance and bellowing, "Come and get it!"  
_

_Her double still looked at her with contempt, but now there was also confusion written on her face.  
_

_Good.  
_

_"Do you seriously mean to fight me? You really would rather die than end up alone, wouldn't you? Poor dear." T.J.'s twin mock-pouted. "You care far too much about everyone, you know. And you'll lose them all, one way or another. Best to be the first one to go, wouldn't you say?"_

_T.J. gulped and slowly relaxed out of her fighting stance as her duplicate stalked forward.  
_

_"Either you'll lose them to tragedy, or you'll shut them out. Eventually no one will give a damn about you. Everyone will leave you, never knowing how you really felt, and it will be entirely your fault."  
_

_"That will not happen," T.J. argued, stubbornly, trying to convince herself more than anyone else.  
_

_Her double scoffed at her. "Don't be so naive. Of course it will. It's happened before, and it can happen again. Hell, your precious commander was on death's door a matter of weeks ago." She smiled wickedly. "After I'm done with you, I'll see if I can put him there again."  
_

_T.J. raised her fists once more, blinking back her tears. "Don't you dare."  
_

_"Ooh, I've hit a nerve, haven't I? That settles it, then. That will be your legacy: the destruction of everyone and everything you care about, by your own hand. Well, it will be by mine. But no one will know the difference."  
_

_The duplicate had made a grave error in underestimating how fiercely protective T.J. was of those she loved. So instead of freezing or collapsing, or crying, T.J. lashed out: launching herself at her double and tackling her to the floor.  
_

"...We both landed a few punches," T.J. concluded, struggling to maintain her composure. She trembled as she folded her arms across her chest and leaned forward in her seat. "I believe I knocked her out in the end." She inhaled sharply. "She collapsed before she disappeared." 

Seth looked at T.J. with concern; her eyes were glazed over and her skin had turned ashen as she gasped for breath. 

"Teej, you're shaking."

"Am I?" She soon found everything in her periphery starting to blur as she attempted to swallow the lump in her throat. 

"Should I get Rosie?" 

T.J. shook her head vigorously in the negative, feeling her heart pounding. "Panic attack," she managed to choke out as she pressed her hand to her chest. 

"What can I do? How can I help?" he asked, gently. 

She said nothing, using her free hand to cling to his, as she took deep stuttering breaths. The death grip she had on his hand surprised both of them. 

Seth tried to keep the sense of alarm from his voice as he reassured her, "It's okay, T.J. Take your time. I'm here." 

"S-sorry." 

"No need to apologize." He absentmindedly ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I don't think I've ever seen you like this. Has this happened before?" 

A slight nod with her eyes cast down in shame served as her reply. 

If Goddard was honest, he preferred the screaming and fainting. At least he knew what to do in those situations. Now he was at a loss. "What do you need?" 

"Water?" she requested. "Please?" 

"I'll get you a glass. I'll be back in a minute. In _under_ a minute, I promise. Okay?" 

Seth waited for her to nod in understanding before leaping out of his seat. The lounge doors miraculously parted as soon as he stood, and he rolled his eyes at the ship again before bolting down the hall to the galley and fetching a glass of water. He managed to only spill half of it on his return trip. He was relieved when the color returned to T.J.'s cheeks as she took small sips. 

"Are you okay?" 

She nodded, still a little shaky. "Better." 

Seth realized he'd been moving his hand over her back in small circles. He stopped abruptly, embarrassed.

"No. Please, that helps," T.J. told him. 

He resumed his ministrations, noticing her breathing seemed to even out fairly quickly. "I'm sorry. You looked so... I never want to be the cause of your anxiety, T.J." 

She offered a humorless chuckle into her glass as she took another drink. "That cannot be helped, I'm afraid. Have my neuroses scared you off yet?" 

"I'm still here, aren't I? We might as well have used our usual greeting. Looks like this will be a late night after all." 

T.J. discarded her glass and clutched one of the smaller silver pillows to her chest. She pushed Seth's hand away and leaned back into the larger gold cushions, wishing she could disappear into them as she muttered, "So now that I'm embarrassed and depressed and any other number of negatives..." 

Seth shook his head at her. "Nope. We're taking care of that right now. I'm not leaving this room until we do." 

"Don't be daft." 

"I can be daft if I want to be." He grimaced slightly, revealing, "Plus, I think the door locked itself behind me again, so I don't know that we could get out of here right now if we wanted to." 

"Oh well that's bloody brilliant."

Seth remained unfazed, scooting closer to T.J. and leaning against the backrest. "Yep, now c'mere." 

T.J. rolled her eyes at him as she shifted to rest her head on his shoulder. She mumbled a rather affectionate "Oh, honestly" under her breath, and Seth quirked a smile. They relaxed in silence for a few moments while they gathered their thoughts, as they had been prone to doing during their late night conversations. 

"The way she looked at me," he realized. "It's how I should've known." 

"Pardon?" 

"I should have known your evil twin wasn't really you. She entered the command post and looked right through me like I wasn't even there. You always see me." 

"Of course you think everything is always about you," she jibed.

He gave her a playful nudge. "You are aware that there is literally photographic evidence to support my case, right"

"Subjective. You see what you want to see." 

"Perhaps." He took her teasing as a good sign and decided to offer up some truths of his own to provide reassurance. "After my demotion, so many people just didn't give a damn about me. But then I met you, and for some reason you did. At the time it felt like you didn't want people to give a damn about you, but I did. I still do." 

"I wanted to hate you at the beginning, you know," she confessed in a whisper. "And I wanted you to hate me. It would have been easier. But you were stupid and stubborn and kept chipping away at my defenses like an idiot." 

He cringed slightly but offered a good-humored, "Yep, that sounds like me" as he flicked a piece of insulation across the room. 

"It scared me because I found I _liked_ it when you made my life difficult. I must be the universe's greatest masochist." 

"T.J., you were grieving." Seth sighed. "And I was an ass. I'm sorry." 

"You couldn't have known any better. And you weren't the only one in the dark. I've always kept my private life private, you see. So only a handful of people even knew..." She gulped and sat upright so she could look him in the eyes. "May I ask you something else?" 

Seth straightened his posture as well, sensing an even more serious discussion was imminent. "Of course." 

"Lieutenant Peter Williamson." T.J. carefully studied Seth's face for any sign of recognition. "Did you know him?" 

He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't." 

She nodded as she processed this and tears blurred her vision. "I'd been wondering that for a while. I wasn't certain I would ever be able to get the nerve to ask you or to talk about him at all. But now, in light of recent events, I feel I need to." She bit her lip and gave him a sheepish look, wondering, "Is that all right?" 

Seth nodded, focusing all of his attention on her. "Of course, Teej. Whatever you're comfortable with." 

"I think I'm ready. It's certainly been long enough. Nearly six years."

He took her hand again. "There's no time limit on heartache." 

"Even so, it feels almost childish to be breaking down like this now, after so long." 

"I don't think so. Not at all. You obviously care about him a great deal. And he must have been someone really special." 

T.J. nodded as she stared down at their hands. "He was. Peter and I were together for nearly two years. We'd even spoken of the possibilities of marriage and children before he was deployed." The tears finally fell when she shook her head and said, "I was certain he'd come home." 

Seth wrapped his arms around her in an awkward sideways hug. T.J. turned into him, nestling into his side as she gathered the strength to continue. 

"He'd been aboard one of the Andromedan sleeper vessels, assisting the effort to free the hostages," she explained with a sniffle. "I received word of his passing three days before the Spung retreated." Her voice broke. "Three days shy." 

Seth swallowed the lump in his throat and held her tightly, allowing her to cry into his chest as he began rubbing soothing circles on her back again. "I am so, so, so sorry, T.J." he said, and he meant it. 

"I was afraid I'd lose you too," T.J. admitted. "I did, in a way. For a while. We were almost off that planet, and if it hadn't been for the healing chamber... Your accident brought it all back. It was hell: the pain of losing Peter coupled with the fear of losing you. I'd have nightmares about it all, and then I'd wake up to find that my nightmares were real. But I needed to push all of that down and get on with my duties because of others that depended on me." 

He wanted to convey to her in no uncertain terms that her nightmares were over, but he knew he couldn't realistically make such a promise. The Christa, herself, proved to be a danger to her own crew at times. "T.J., I am so truly sorry you had to go through all of that. But I'm here for you. And no amount of crying or yelling or panicking, or anything else you do as you process everything will push me away. I'm stubborn, remember?"

"Goodness, why would you possibly want to put up with a basket case like me?" 

He had said anything was fair game, but it was neither the time nor the place to delve too deeply into this particular subject. He glossed over the truth, saying, "You're not a basket case. And I don't 'put up' with you. You are the bravest person I've ever met, and I genuinely enjoy your company." 

"Now I know you're being ridiculous." 

"I may be ridiculous on a semi-regular basis, but not when it comes to this. You face your fears every single day by caring as much as you do about all of us. And I know it takes a toll on you. But you won't end up alone because we know you care about us, and we care about you, too." 

She was still crying, trying to hide her face in shame, but Seth gently tilted her chin up to look her in the eyes. 

"You're at the heart of this weird little family of misfits we've become out here," he declared. "No, screw that, you _are_ the heart of our family. And I think you're extraordinary." 

She looked away in embarrassment. "No, I'm rubbish."          

"I'll prove you wrong." 

"One of your favorite pastimes." 

More banter. Good. "I try, but I don't often succeed. I'm right about this though. Trust me." 

"I do. I just need to believe that I won't lose you too. You're my best friend, and I feel like you're helping me be the person I'm meant to be. But I still have moments of weakness when I feel myself retreating or allow fear to drive my decisions. It was so difficult without you." 

"Everyone has moments like that. But you also underestimate yourself, Teej. We'll make a STARDOG of you yet." 

She sniffled, resuming her previous position leaning against him with her head tucked under his chin. "You just love a challenge." 

Again: neither the time, nor the place. He considered how to reply before deciding on, "I can't deny that."


	7. To Love A Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes risking the safety of something familiar can lead to amazing opportunities. And sometimes you just have to challenge a Spung warlord to a standoff. A chapter in which T.J. and Seth may find new ways to cross the fine line between bravery and stupidity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during/after "A Friend in Need." Spot the Firefly reference
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Space Cases. I just miss it a whole lot.

Davenport didn't want the crew to board the alien outpost, especially not so soon after a Spung attack. Commander Goddard had nearly returned in a coffin the last time he left the safety of the Christa, thanks in part to those lizard creatures. T.J. tried to make her case without mentioning that particular fact; instead she spoke rationally and used her encyclopedic knowledge of the STARDOG Code and Starcademy rulebook to support her argument.

But the kids attempted to use her logic against her. Even Bova tried to reason with Davenport, citing Starcademy regulations regarding encountering acts of aggression, leaving T.J. to grasp at straws. It was soon made apparent that she would not win this particular battle when the crew received a message from the lone survivor of the attack.

"Do be careful over there, people." T.J. sighed as Harlan, Suzee, and Radu made their exit. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to find Seth standing beside her.

"For what it's worth, I was going to agree with you until we got that distress call," he told her. "This is strictly a rescue mission now: we go in, we find the girl that called us, and we get out. No exploring."

T.J. was aware that they still had an audience, and she spared a glance over toward Bova, Rosie, and Thelma gathered around the communications console before turning back to Seth. "Rescue missions can go awry," she whispered. She wrung her hands and held his gaze, silently begging him to forgo the mission for more personal reasons.

"I know." His hand slid down from her shoulder to rest on the small of her back, and he used his thumb to trace tiny circles over her spine. "Believe me, _I understand_."

She nearly burst into tears on the spot, but managed to maintain her composure as she took a deep breath and cleared her throat, albeit with watery eyes. "You'd better come back safely," she lectured: an attempt being business-as-usual. "And if you decide to try any thrilling heroics, so help me—"

"No thrilling heroics, I promise. Just...regular heroics?" Seth winced. "You know what I mean. Look, why don't you and the others run a security sweep while we're away. It will give you something to do besides worry, and it might actually give you some peace of mind."

"That's..." she cocked her head to the side in consideration, "actually a very good idea."

"I do have those from time to time," he teased her. "Why do you sound surprised?"

She lowered her voice slightly as she rose to the bait, "Let us resume this line of banter when you return, shall we?"

Seth chuckled. "Looking forward to it."

"I'd advise against taking too long, then."

"Hoping to return within the hour. It's already 1900. And when I get back, we can work on making our late-night talks a little more lighthearted," he offered kindly.

Their midnight chats did tend to turn emotional, and T.J. very much wanted to spend time with Seth relaxing and forgetting about the worries of the day. "Hanging out" as the students might say.

She gave him a warm smile. "I would like that."

Seth grinned back. "See you soon, then." He squeezed her hand, holding on just a little too long before turning to leave.

Bova didn't seem to notice the oddly intimate nature of his commanding officers' conversation, but Rosie and Thelma did: Rosie had the grace not to mention it; Thelma forgot the entire discussion.

* * *

 

As Goddard ran toward Warlord Shank and his henchmen, the overpowering emotion he felt was not fear but guilt. Was this a prime example of "thrilling heroics" or just plain stupidity? He didn't have much time to classify his latest rash command decision before becoming disoriented and blinking against an abrupt flash of light. One second he was on the outpost, and the next he was careening through the Christa's jumptubes at an alarming speed. He wasn't prepared for the landing, and the tube network spit him out unceremoniously. He managed to tuck and roll and slam into something solid with a grunt. From his position on the floor, he looked around to determine where he was. The command post. And the "something solid" had been Harlan's station and the helm controls.

The room appeared to be empty save for T.J. and Bova, who stood by Rosie's communications post. Davenport hurried to kneel by Goddard's side as Bova looked on at the pair of them.

"Seth! Thank heavens! Are you all right?"

He sat up, insisting he was fine, then noticed her bandaged hands. "What happened to you? And where's everyone else?"

T.J. shook her head. "Never mind me. You were gone for hours. Harlan, Suzee, and Radu returned together ten minutes ago, and no one knew where you were. We were worried."

"Hey, Commander," Bova offered. "Glad you're not dead."

T.J. glared at the young tactical officer. "Bova, please inform the others of the commander's return."

Bova shrugged and hit a button on Rosie's console to activate the shipwide comm and simply offered, "Abort mission. Goddard's back."

"The students were going to find you," T.J. explained to the commander. "I wanted to wait here in case you were somehow able to send a message..."

 _Not thrilling heroics. Just plain stupidity_ , Seth decided of his earlier actions. He sighed, disappointed in himself for being the cause of T.J.'s anxieties yet again. He pictured her refusing to move from the communications post, staring down at the controls, waiting for a tiny beep or a flickering light to signal an incoming message. He could have been dead, and she'd have been waiting to hear from him.

Late night, indeed.

Bova ambled over to the helm controls, unceremoniusly stepping over his commanding officers as he did so, reporting his actions as he worked to expertly fly the ship away from the accursed space station. "All hands still aboard. Security scan complete: no intruders. Spaceway disengaged from outpost airlock. Setting course for the Sol System at sublight speed."

"When did you learn how to do all that?" Goddard asked, flabbergasted. The last time he saw the boy pilot the ship, they'd almost collided with a satellite.

"Harlan's been giving me lessons during free study," Bova explained nonchalantly as he headed for the door. "Just because I don't believe things will work out, doesn't mean I won't try new stuff to see how much I dislike it. Anyway, I'm gonna go get third dinner and meet the others in the lounge. See ya."

T.J. and Seth wore matching expressions of shock as they watched their charge leave the room. Once he'd gone and they got their wits about them, T.J. practically launched herself at Seth in an awkward hug, still mindful of her burns.

"What the hell happened over there?" She pulled away to look him over, trying to find a hint as to what he had been through.

"We got separated. Some sort of teleport, I think? A sentient computer system more or less held us hostage. But I'm okay."

"And...? I can tell there's more."

He couldn't lie to her. Not about anything, but especially not about this, so he continued, "And...Warlord Shank found us. We almost had to fight him."

T.J. gasped, looking at Seth in horror before using her forearm to smack his shoulder. Her act of violence was quickly followed by another enthusiastic hug. "You colossal idiot! I _told_ you: No thrilling heroics!"

"Yeah, I know."

"When you said you would have a go at a standoff with Shank, I thought you were joking!"

"I _was_ joking. But it just so happened that—"

"You stupid, asinine, foolish—"

Without thinking, he deadpanned, "Love you too, Teej."

She stiffened in his arms before slowly drawing away from him with wide eyes. "What did you just say?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I..."

"You cannot and will not throw those words around," she ordered, shaking with equal parts anger and fear. "Not with me. Don't you _dare_ say them unless you bloody-well mean them."

"It... I..."

"Did you?" She gupled. "Do you mean them?"

Seth wished he could hold her hand, but he wasn't willing to risk aggrivating her injuries—What _had_ happened to her while he was on the outpost? He settled for gently sweeping the fringe out of her eyes, noticing the way her breath hitched as his fingers brushed across her forehead and lightly trailed down the side of her face.

"I know you're looking for a yes or no answer, but it's more complicated than that," he began. "Truth be told, I've been thinking about the evolution of our relationship a lot lately. It used to be that our banter was our default. It was safe. It was familiar. But we've progressed beyond that during our time aboard the Christa. And not that long ago—right here, in fact—we agreed that sometimes risking the safety of something familiar can lead to amazing opportunities. As much as I love our playful banter, we could be so much more than that. But I don't know if you're willing to take that risk. And I would never pressure you if that wasn't something you wanted or were ready for."

She swallowed thickly, her mouth suddenly dry.

"I respect the hell out of you, T.J. And I value our trust and friendship so much that I don't want to jeopardize what we already have," Seth continued, lightly resting a hand on her knee. "I don't expect you to explain your feelings if you aren't ready, or if you don't want to, or if you don't know how. I'm not asking for anything that you aren't fully ready and willing to give. I know that you guard your heart fiercely, and I know your heart probably still belongs to someone I'll never be able to compete with. I understand. I accept that. So I'll give you time and I'll give you space: as much as you need. I'll give anything for you to be happy because your happiness is more important than what I want." He sighed, his bottled-up emotions no longer a weight on his shoulders. "That's my complicated answer."

T.J. took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly as she sat back on her heels, folded her arms across her chest, and stared down at the floor.

"Teej? You're not having a panic attack, are you?"

She rose to her feet and backed away from him, avoiding his eyes.

"T.J.?"

She hunched over as if chilled, closing herself off from him, as she shook her head. "No."

"No...to which part?" Seth braced himself against the helm as he stood, waiting with baited breath and watching her pace about the room as she warred with herself.

_T.J. Davenport had promised herself she wouldn't fall for Seth Goddard._

_She'd grown up hearing all about her father's best student and then later reading about him on the Spacenet. Of course she'd dismissed any feelings toward Goddard as symptoms of a silly little crush when they began and then a product of an even more outrageous fantasy as they continued. She'd built him up so much in her mind that no one could compare, not even the real deal. In fact, meeting him in person had been a letdown of epic proportions._

_She'd tried to ensure that their relationship would be a tumultuous one by insulting him to his face on his first day at the Starcademy. She'd called him a disappointment among other things. Of course the idiot took it as a challenge to either win her over or annoy her to no end, sometimes succeeding at doing both in a matter of minutes, leaving her more frustrated with him than she'd ever been with anyone._

_And somehow she'd still fallen for him. She didn't know precisely how, why, or when, but she knew that she had. And she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do about it._

_She also knew she couldn't take another loss._

_Not again._

Not him.

A full two minutes of silence passed before Seth cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I'm sorry if I've upset you." He cursed himself for the tremor that made it into his voice as he excused himself and trudged over to the jumptubes. "I'll be in my quarters. I'll send Thelma up here if you want to talk to someone," he hung his head, "who isn't me."

"Seth?"

He turned around, bracing himself for any manner of negative reactions. His heart broke all over again when he saw her standing next to the helm with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Her voice was small and strained as she tried to speak without sobbing. "You realize answering 'yes' would have been sufficient."

"Teej, I am so sorry. I never ever wanted to hurt you. Leave it to me to mess everything up and go and do exactly that."

"You haven't," she said quickly.

He looked at her, confused. "But you're crying."

"So are you."

He hadn't even realized. He touched his hand to his cheek, surprised to find the presence of tears. "And now I'm embarrassing myself too. Fantastic," he muttered, turning to the jumptubes again. "I'm just gonna leave before I do something else I'll regret."

"No!"

He was startled by the panic in her voice, and his eyes instantly snapped up to meet hers.

"I don't want you," her voice caught, "to ever leave."

It took longer than it should have for him to wrap his mind around her words, especially with the unfortunate pause that came mid-sentence. Once he understood and his heart was no longer in his stomach, he cleared the space between them in three long strides and immediately gathered her in his arms. She twined her arms around his neck in turn, burrying her face in his shoulder as he whispered "I'm here," over and over again into her hair.

"I'm sorry. Please be patient with me," she requested, and not for the first time.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. And I'll follow your lead."

She sniffled and shifted to stare up at him while still wrapped in his arms. "If I may give you _my_ complicated answer?"

He blinked in surprise. "Yeah."

"Peter will always have a place in my heart. But somehow you... I think I unwittingly fell in love with you sometime ago."

Seth let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "Denying my feelings for you doesn't make them go away. Between the fear of losing you to some terrible accident out here and losing you once we returned home, I realized precisely how much you mean to me. And it is absolutely terrifying. But ultimately the moments that make me happiest now, and the ones I cherish most, involve sharing your company. And I will gladly face my fears so I can have more of those moments. Your patience and courage inspires me to be a better person. You make me want to try to face my fears and take risks. You make me want to..."

"To what?"

"At the risk of sounding melodramatic, you make me want to start truly living again. That is something I haven't done in quite some time."

"Teej..." He stared in shock and awe at the woman he loved but didn't think he deserved. "You're way out of my league. You do know that, right?"

"Does the way I look at you convey that?" She thought back to the photo frame in her room and the way she looked at him during _those_ cherished moments, with her true feelings written all over her face. "Has it ever?"

"There were times I had my doubts." He gave a small shrug. "I guess I didn't dare to hope..."

She shook her head at him. "That is rubbish, and you know it. You always dare to hope, Seth. So much that you dare to give _me_ hope. That is who you are."

"But I'm also a stupid, asinine, foolish, colossal idiot. Remember?"

"I suppose I could have chosen different terms of endearment." She bit her lip sheepishly. "But words are not everything."

She craned her neck, and her lips met his for the first time. The kiss took him by surprise at first, but he gladly melted into it. It started out sweet and a bit hessitant, but T.J. became more confident and somewhat insistent as he responded. He was tender and patient, but she soon had him smirking slightly against her lips, cocky and self-assured. It was their joint confession: a feedback loop of love, want, and need. She broke away first, before the kiss could take on a life of its own, and the dizzying joy was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. Yes, she was definitely looking forward to more moments like this.

"You most certainly are a challenge," she conceded, breaking into a wide grin that matched his. "I love a challenge."


End file.
